DeniReview: The A Team - (sigh)
June 19th 2010 02:17
Category: Action
Rating: * out of 5 Stars (1/5)
This review is my "shout-out" to my buddy David O'Connell who was the first poor soul to review this movie. See his review here -->
(click smiley)
I have three words: HOR - RI - BLE!
Going beyond the boundaries of "over-the-top" is to be "far-fetched" and beyond the limitations of "stretching things
a bit" is just plain non-sense and even if it is just for fun there still should be a cut-off point. This movie went past non-sense and shot straight for lunacy.
I think this movie tries too hard to recapture the essence of the TV characters in every shot, that it just fell short. I felt as if I was being force to laugh at all the stupid one-liners and exaggerated antics. Perhaps this movie may have worked with the original cast, who knows, but they all seemed like a bunch of impostors and I felt as if I was being brainwashed for almost two hours into believing this was The A Team.
Well there is a plot underneath all the clutter and chaos. The A Team are introduced in the opening sequence - Colonel John "Hannibal" Smith (Liam Neeson), Templeton "Faceman" Peck (Bradley Cooper), Ranger B. A. Barracus (Quinton Jackson) and H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock (Sharlto Copley). They have become a successful and elite combat unit, stationed in Iraq. CIA Agent Lynch (Patrick Wilson) contacts Hannibal to inform him that Iraqi insurgents have come into possession of a U.S. Treasury plate which they are using to counterfeit money. Hannibal agrees to get the plates back along with $1 Billion in counterfeit currency in an unofficial Black-ops mission against the advice of General Morrison (Gerald McRaney), his commanding officer.
Meanwhile, DCIS Captain Charissa Soto (Jessica Biel) has come to warn her ex-lover, Templeton "Faceman" Peck" (Bradley Cooper) to forget about the mission and get the heck out of Baghdad. It is clear from her open hostility towards Face that she pretty much wants to jump his bones but for now we'll buy that she hates his guts with an intensity - yeah right! Well, as you may have guessed, the mission is successful but something goes terribly wrong. When the team returns with containers filled with money and the plates to meet their commanding office, a private security firm, headed by Brock Pike swoops in and blows up everything, including the vehicle carrying General Morrison.
The A Team is tried, found guilty, dishonorably discharged and sent to federal prison. The only hope of clearing their names comes when Hannibal strikes up a deal with Lynch. But wait, it appears that when Hannibal was in prison for six months, he managed to track down this Pike...imagine, Hannibal in prison for six months could do what a CIA operative on the outside couldn't do? Anyhow, the deal is that Hannibal and his men escape from prison on their own - and they find the plates in exchange for their pardons.
Now, this is where things get really ludicrous - see, written on paper, the plot makes for a fairly descent movie - barely but on film it's wasted celluloid or digital film. They were passing the bong around when creating the story-board. The brilliant production team wants to try and entertain us with off the wall stunts and spectacular feats of gravity defying action - one such mindless exploit involves a military aircraft, remote piloted drone fighters, and an army tank. After our heroes escape prison - and don't get me started on how Hannibal managed to predict that Murdock would be in the recreation room of a psyche hospital, so that he and the rest of the gang could crash a truck through a wall without injuring any of the patients to gain his freedom...please don't get me started on that one, because I'm not having it!
Anyhow, as I was saying, our heroes escape capture by stealing a military aircraft and while in hot aerial pursuit by remote piloted drone fighters, that manage to blow up the plane they were flying, The A Team miraculously hide themselves inside the tank that was previously loaded on the plane but but get this, they also attach parachutes to the vehicle, which remains in tact despite the explosion and which now plummets to earth - and while all this is going on our heroes are able to carry on conversations, crack jokes, and guide this massive tank which weigh tons to a lake for a soft landing. No one sustains injuries of any kind and there is not one bruise, no broke limb or hair out of place.
After that silliness, need I waste anymore energy writing about what happens next? These guys manage to always be one step ahead of the game - they can predict outcomes of what are supposedly hypothetical situations with accuracy and the climatic ending was ridiculous - nothing more than the production crew having fun blowing up s**t. A shipyard with massively heavy shipping containers falling down willy-nilly and our heroes manage to avoid being smashed to bloody pulp with precision and ease. And again, not one strand of hair out of place.
Ridley and Tony Scott should both be beaten with sticks, they were listed as producers - I hope that's not true, but if it is then shame on you! If I had to chose anyone to remotely like in this film, it would be Sharlto Copely, and Jessical Biel took her role way too seriously, if there were any funny moments it would have to be her performance. I'm going to excuse Liam Neeson and even Patrick Wilson but everyone else needs therapy.
Anyhow, I love mindless fun, I get it! But I like my mindless fun with a bit more intelligence and thought behind it. At least make it a bit more believable or try. This was just insulting.
This review is my "shout-out" to my buddy David O'Connell who was the first poor soul to review this movie. See his review here -->
(click smiley)I have three words: HOR - RI - BLE!
Going beyond the boundaries of "over-the-top" is to be "far-fetched" and beyond the limitations of "stretching things
I think this movie tries too hard to recapture the essence of the TV characters in every shot, that it just fell short. I felt as if I was being force to laugh at all the stupid one-liners and exaggerated antics. Perhaps this movie may have worked with the original cast, who knows, but they all seemed like a bunch of impostors and I felt as if I was being brainwashed for almost two hours into believing this was The A Team.
Well there is a plot underneath all the clutter and chaos. The A Team are introduced in the opening sequence - Colonel John "Hannibal" Smith (Liam Neeson), Templeton "Faceman" Peck (Bradley Cooper), Ranger B. A. Barracus (Quinton Jackson) and H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock (Sharlto Copley). They have become a successful and elite combat unit, stationed in Iraq. CIA Agent Lynch (Patrick Wilson) contacts Hannibal to inform him that Iraqi insurgents have come into possession of a U.S. Treasury plate which they are using to counterfeit money. Hannibal agrees to get the plates back along with $1 Billion in counterfeit currency in an unofficial Black-ops mission against the advice of General Morrison (Gerald McRaney), his commanding officer.
Meanwhile, DCIS Captain Charissa Soto (Jessica Biel) has come to warn her ex-lover, Templeton "Faceman" Peck" (Bradley Cooper) to forget about the mission and get the heck out of Baghdad. It is clear from her open hostility towards Face that she pretty much wants to jump his bones but for now we'll buy that she hates his guts with an intensity - yeah right! Well, as you may have guessed, the mission is successful but something goes terribly wrong. When the team returns with containers filled with money and the plates to meet their commanding office, a private security firm, headed by Brock Pike swoops in and blows up everything, including the vehicle carrying General Morrison.
The A Team is tried, found guilty, dishonorably discharged and sent to federal prison. The only hope of clearing their names comes when Hannibal strikes up a deal with Lynch. But wait, it appears that when Hannibal was in prison for six months, he managed to track down this Pike...imagine, Hannibal in prison for six months could do what a CIA operative on the outside couldn't do? Anyhow, the deal is that Hannibal and his men escape from prison on their own - and they find the plates in exchange for their pardons.
Now, this is where things get really ludicrous - see, written on paper, the plot makes for a fairly descent movie - barely but on film it's wasted celluloid or digital film. They were passing the bong around when creating the story-board. The brilliant production team wants to try and entertain us with off the wall stunts and spectacular feats of gravity defying action - one such mindless exploit involves a military aircraft, remote piloted drone fighters, and an army tank. After our heroes escape prison - and don't get me started on how Hannibal managed to predict that Murdock would be in the recreation room of a psyche hospital, so that he and the rest of the gang could crash a truck through a wall without injuring any of the patients to gain his freedom...please don't get me started on that one, because I'm not having it!
Anyhow, as I was saying, our heroes escape capture by stealing a military aircraft and while in hot aerial pursuit by remote piloted drone fighters, that manage to blow up the plane they were flying, The A Team miraculously hide themselves inside the tank that was previously loaded on the plane but but get this, they also attach parachutes to the vehicle, which remains in tact despite the explosion and which now plummets to earth - and while all this is going on our heroes are able to carry on conversations, crack jokes, and guide this massive tank which weigh tons to a lake for a soft landing. No one sustains injuries of any kind and there is not one bruise, no broke limb or hair out of place.
After that silliness, need I waste anymore energy writing about what happens next? These guys manage to always be one step ahead of the game - they can predict outcomes of what are supposedly hypothetical situations with accuracy and the climatic ending was ridiculous - nothing more than the production crew having fun blowing up s**t. A shipyard with massively heavy shipping containers falling down willy-nilly and our heroes manage to avoid being smashed to bloody pulp with precision and ease. And again, not one strand of hair out of place.
Ridley and Tony Scott should both be beaten with sticks, they were listed as producers - I hope that's not true, but if it is then shame on you! If I had to chose anyone to remotely like in this film, it would be Sharlto Copely, and Jessical Biel took her role way too seriously, if there were any funny moments it would have to be her performance. I'm going to excuse Liam Neeson and even Patrick Wilson but everyone else needs therapy.
Anyhow, I love mindless fun, I get it! But I like my mindless fun with a bit more intelligence and thought behind it. At least make it a bit more believable or try. This was just insulting.
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Comment by David O'Connell
Screen Fanatic
It really is for 12 year olds and probably the most mindless garbage I've seen in the last 5 years. Like you said, it's insulting to anyone who prefers to have some portion of their brain - even if it's only a miniscule portion of it - stimulated.
Though the overseas reviews have been more scathing, quite a few Australian reviewers have been reasonably lenient, God knows why, perhaps they don't want to offend anyone at Fox too severely, especially when it seems they have another dog on the way in Knight and Day (which I'm seeing later this week without much relish). Anyway, I've been doing my bit in telling everyone I meet to NOT go and see The A-Team!! I can't do any more for our worthy cause!!
Comment by Deni
Abstract Magick
Cinema Herald
I think Australian love to cheer for the "underdog". I agree that it was made for teens...good grief. Feel sorry for the parents that have to sit through that.
Anyhow, I feel purged. While I didn't see I Am Love, I did follow up The A Team with The Karate Kid. I hated the original but this is a remake that they finally got right. I'm working on the review now. I was pleasantly surprised.
Cheers,
Deni
Comment by David O'Connell
Screen Fanatic
Look forward to checking out your Karate Kid review. It's been so long since I saw the original I have only vague memories of it now. Will be interested to hear what you made of Will Smith's son too.
Comment by ShaunK
Screen Adventure
Deni, how annoying is the portion of writing a review where you have to give a run down of the plot, this one must have been hell to write out.
Comment by Deni
Abstract Magick
Cinema Herald
It is annoying and painful but I didn't want to spend the entire post trashing the movie so I thought I'd add a bit of balance and if I didn't have anything nice to say, I might has well write down the plot.
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
I think you were brave see this one and even braver to think about it enough to do a review. It's not for me at all!!!
Byeee
Comment by Deni
Abstract Magick
Cinema Herald
Yes, I was brave. I did it because there was a division between Jason and David. Jason said it was good and David said it was bad. I nominated myself to be the swing vote.
Cheers and thanks for stopping by.
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life